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  • Protection (poem)

    For my heart & my soul
    i will seek control
    To get some space
    & get the fuck out of this place
    Where i can be free
    Where theres someone like me
    Until then
    I must defened
    To Respect & protect
    The ones i call Friends

  • You know what makes me mad >.<
                            people who call themselves ugly 
                                                           i know im one to talk

    But in today society we have such high expectations for beauty. Some country in Africa thinks fat is beautiful. Mayans thought long heads & gadges were sexy too. 
       But here in America you have to be a size zero girl with blond hair to be sexy. Being Curvy (aka fat) is a death sentance here. People have gotten so self consious about looks they stop being themsleves & they Conform.
       Well i know i shouldnt talk. I dont know what to say about myslef i do have pretty eyes but i am Curvy. No Not like Cristry Alli. No i have a little extra pudge & Big boobs & Butt which is bad when you wear loose hoddies. It looks like a big blobby thing. Well i dont know look for yourself in my pictures.
                                                Anyway comment with your thoughts
                                               

  • Before: There was a girl & a boy who were dating. The girl dated him because she thought he loved her & he dated her because he thought she loved him. But Netheir were in love so.....

    Boy: Were breaking up.
    Girl: Whatever, I never loved you anyway
    Boy: Me nethier
    *later that day*
    Girls freind: I heard he dumped you
    Girl: So, he never loved me!
    Girls Friend: Did you ever ask him?
    Girl: No?
    Girls Friend: Then how do you know
    GirlL:*starts crying* Because he dumped me!
    *Meanwhile*
    Boy:Finally im single!
    Boys Friend: Come on she cant be that bad u dated for a year.
    Boy: She wasnt that bad, but she didnt love me
    BOys Friend: SO? Shes hot!
    BOy: NO shes not! She's beautiful.
    Boys Friend: SOunds like you love her
    Boy: So what if i do? It doesnt matter anymore
    *Later at the park*
    Girl:* sitting alone at a bench*
    Boy: *walks up to her*
    Boy: Hey....
    Girl: Hi
    Boy: Mind if i sit?
    Girl: Go ahead like i care
    Boy: Why do you have to be like that?
    Girl: Because your a liar
    BOy: How?
    Girl: You never  loved me, our whole realtionship was a lie!
    Boy:*Grabs girls hand*
    Girl:*Looks away*
    Boy: No it wasnt
    Girl:*crying* yes it was because i always loved you & you never felt the same
    Boy: *wipes away her tear* No it wasnt, Because i love you.
    Girl:*Pulls away* Lies!
    Boy: *pulls her back* I love you , you have my heart & if you leave me I wont survive
    Girl:*Looks at him*
    Boy:*kisses her softly* I am in love with you.
    Girl: Prove it
    Boy: Ok *gets on one knee & pulls out a ring* will you marry me?
    Girl:*shocked* yes

  • Hello Beautiful

    As i look to the sky
    I  hear the clouds cry
    I  feel there tears fall on face
    what a horrible place
    Then I feel your hand upon my cheek
    I can hardly speak
    It all feels right
    Just for Tonight

  • More Quotes

    I love it when you
    dance with me when theres no music
    sing to me when everyones around
    stare at me in the moonlight
    buy me 25 cent rings && propose to me
    tickle me when im mad at you
    kiss me when im upset
    hold me when im tired.
    take me in your arms when im cold
    and when you simply say I love you

    Don't look for the boy
    who can be the best boyfriend.
    Look for the boy who
    can be your best friend.

    look between the lines,
    read  between the words
    because the most important things
    are left unsaid and unheard

    & besides, you're probably holding hands with some skinny,
    pretty girl that likes to talk about bands.
    & all i wanna do is play baseball and basketball with you and stay up late,and watch cartoons

    I don't think I was ever truly happy until I met you.
    You changed everything. You changed it all. Every
    day was special. The world was amazing. It was
    amazing just because you were there. & the most
    amazing thing about it was that you loved me.

    It's like one of those old fashioned movies. It's coming to an end and everyone's screaming at the screen;;
    "TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM" ...but you can't.

    she straightens her hair, puts on her eyeliner, glosses her lips && takes one last look in the mirror, all for the boy who doesnt care.

    you see her in the
    back of every class.
    never says a word.
    never raises her hand.
    you know her name starts
    with something from A-Z.
    But guess what, kid.
    She loves you.

    One day you're going to want that girl. That girl that knew she wasn't perfect, but tried to be perfect for you. The girl that believed the scraps of you she was given were worth it, because something was better than nothing. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can't bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. That girl who saw past your pretty eyes and treasured parts of you that no one else has ever appreciated. The girl who realizes she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. The girl that sees this and still loves you. That girl that should have you, but doesn't, even though she deserves it.

    behind a bad reputation and the
    horrible rumors, is the girl she really
    is. the girl people dont ever take
    the time to get to know.

    (NOTE TO SELF:start on 1366)

  • WTF? ripped jeans

    I mean seriously yesterday was the best day ever today is the worst.
    SO yesterday me , Spencer & Colt were chillaxing & colt was like OMG i wanna go inside the gas station & buy tampons. & were Like WHY? Then Colt goes so when the guy asks why i buying them i will say "CUZ I NEED THEM".

    But today i was jumping Colts fence & i ripped my FAVORITE & ONLY skinny jeans. Not a small rip but from the knee to the croch to my Other knee. Theyre ruined. Then SPencer ex was being a dick & running away from me.
    It sucks, seriously i hate being disrespected.

    But i dont know i guess what a people gonna do when they see me.Ughh.
         If you read this comment me & my pics <3

  • Awsome Quotes

    I got these off : http://ffey-quotes.xanga.com/



    This is for the girls who don't always win,
    who stay up all night listening to music that inspires them
    to do things next to the impossible.
    The girls who laugh, smile,
    cry and think all on a daily basis.
    The girls who like, learn,
    and regret.
    The girls who may never have it easy.
    The girls who learn the hard way and live to tell about it.
    -The real girls

    I'm the kind of girl you can hear from miles away. the kind that if youre sad its my job to make you happy. the kind of girl who keeps messing up & saying sorry. I trip over everything, i'm such a clutz & get mad over the smallest things. but im also the girl who holds everything back. if you ask me whats wrong i'll smile, lie saying "ohh nothing". the girl whos afraid of love because she already lost so much...

    No, I don't like you,
    I just stare at you all day
    long for no reason at all.
    *sacrasm*

    So basically, I just want to be the girl he gives his hoodie
    to wear and cuddles up to when it's cold; I want him to come
    up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist; Catch me
    off guard and whisper: you look beautiful

    shes just your normal teenage girl.
    you know, the kind that dances in the rain, & sings as loud as she can
    she'll takes silly pictures and posts them on facebook.
    she loves the winter but she hates the cold.
    she cant stand horror movies but shes always going to see one
    her friends are her life, with out them you'll never see her smile
    she tries to hard & never gets what she deserves but that doesnt bring her down
    yep, it doesnt get any more average then that

    I feel like I'm forcing myself to like him, to hold on. Like I'm not content with just being on my own. Because when I don't like someone there is nothing to look forward to. Nothing to get me out of bed in the morning and look cute. But then again there is no disappointment either.

    I wear my heart on my sleeve,
    but I am not naive. I know what it
    feels like to be completely broken,
    and I am all too familiar with what
    it feels like to be hurt. I know what
    it's like to see something funny and
    not laugh. I've been taken advantage
    of, used, and abused. My feelings have
    been blatantly disregarded. But I still
    believe that all people are good at heart.
    And my trust in people has not diminished.
    To be honest, I hope it never does. Ever.

    I'm scared. Nobody's ever looked
    at me the way you just did.

    She’s strong, because she knows what it’s like to be weak.
    She keeps a guard, because she knows what it’s like to cry herself to sleep

    I don't need a rose,
    i want a daisy you picked for my hair.
    I don't want a box of fancy chocolates,
    I want a burnt cookie that you made just for me.
    I don't want to go to some upscale restaurant,
    lets just have a picnic in the park.
    we don't have to go to prom,
    we can just dance on my front porch
    until we fall asleep in each others arms

                                                                                  

    loved you. And here's a news flash.
    you protected me from nothing. I spent a long
    time missing you, wondering what the hell
    I did wrong to make you do that to me.
     I thought everything was my fault. And even
    when I got over that, I still knew what
     I'd lost: you. You were the one who
     made me laugh when I had a crappy day.
    You were the one I vented to when I was
    mad, the one I shared all the good stuff with.
    You always knew when I was full of crap,
    and you always called me on it. You were smart,
    you were funny, you were good-looking.
    You were mine. And then, suddenly,
    you weren't. I knew every day exactly what I'd
    lost, and I missed you every day, and I
    believed in you every day, and my heart broke
    every day. That's the big favor you did for me.
    Thanks so much. Here's the kicker.
    You weren't even protecting me. You were
    protecting yourself. If you'd given half a
    thought to me, you would have said goodbye.

    Love is when you find someone you can really be yourself with.
    That you can share anything with, like a best friend. It's when you
    can't even imagine what your life would be without that person. When
    words don't even come close to how you really feel, and even though it
    doesn't make sense to other people, you know you're meant to be together

    Have you ever been depressed for seriously
    no reason? You just don`t feel up for anything.
    You don`t want to see anyone or do anything.
    You just want to lie in bed & disappear & you have no reason why

    We live in a world where being
    yourself just isn't good enough

    Sometimes, music is the only thing
    that gets your mind off everything else

    when I first met you
    I never would have imagined that
    I would have such strong feelings for you
    I never would have thought
    that I would have dreams about you
    or miss being by your side
    or get butterflies in my stomach
    when someone mentions your name
    when I first met you
    I never thought that I would love you

    You see people on the street corner, begging for food.
    You think you're so superior,
    Because you have more money.
    But honey let me tell you,
    These people have more soul than you ever will.
    And in the end, that's gonna matter more.

    Why is it everyone looks at him & doesn't see
    how wonderful he is? Cause I saw it the first time
    I laid eyes on him. I don`t think I knew it then,
    but I guess I was falling in love.

     miss your hugs, and how you held me tight when I was scared . I miss how you wiped away my tears, and no matter how bad things got, you were always there. But, what I miss the most, is how you held me and made me laugh through it all.

    I liked the days when boys were written down on paper listed on your top 5,
    instead of you carrying them in your heart.
    When you would brag about how cool your parents were,
    instead of talking about how they now ruin your lives.
    When the only reason you didn’t want to get out of bed for school was because you were sleepy, 
    &  now it’s because each day is a struggle.
    While hide & seek was the coolest game,
    instead of guys seeing how many girls they can go out with at one time.
    When you wished upon birthday candles,
    & now you wish on a boy who is holding your heart.
    The days when you were just a kid who still had their innocence, 
    & now you’re a teenager who knows everything has changed.


    Torn between two;
    who would you choose?
    The one that you love,
    or the one that loves you

     

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  • Update: The Turn Around

    Its been awhile since i've been on here. Im sorry for not posting sooner.

    Well heres an Update:
     Im Taken by an Amazing guy named Dustin
      Today is our 2 month anniversy.

    I have been on a MAJOR diet & have lost 10 lbs so far.

    Right now im on Vacation in Washington but I'm flying back tomarrow.

     My friendships are doing quiet well i guess.
    I have a new best friend his name is Tanner.
     He's 16 & in an AMAZING band!
     We talk on the phone all the time. We met through my friend & his girlfriend Samii.

     I cant help but say my life has truely turned around since i last wrote on here.

     Indeed my purple highlights has faded into blond ; as you can see in my pics. But im just as good as ever.

     RESOLUTION: I will post at least ONCE a week!
       Ash11 ashh7

  • Quotes

     Be who you are & say what you feel because those who mind dont matter & those who matter dont mind. - Dr. Seuss

    Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die tomarrow

    I'll Love you until My heart stops beating & My mind stops thinking. -me

    Dont take life to seriously no one gets out alive anyway

    When Life Gives you Lemons, Find the guy who's life gives him Vodka & have a party- Blue Collor Comedy Tour

    When words fail music speaks

    Before you my life was a moonless night. very dark. but there were stars - points of light & reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire. there was brilliancy. there was beauty.

    To wish you were someone else is a waste of person you are

    Never live life unnoticed

    Love is Lies, love is Pain, Love is Tear, Its just a game- Kaii

    when the rest of the world Walks out. I'll still be here. I promise

    Everyone wants to be happy. Nobody wants to be in pain. But you cant have a rainbow without any rain

    Isnt it funny how day to day nothing changes but when you look back nothing the same